A popular take on TikTok lately centers around the idea that destination bachelor and bachelorette trips are rude. Brides and grooms should stop asking so much of their friends and families when it comes to wedding festivities and keep things simple. Several people think that the entire concept of bachelor and bachelorette trips has gotten way out of hand (and way too expensive).

TikTok user Eric Goldie says that people who have destination wedding parties are “selfish.”

“I might be crazy for saying this, but when did bachelor and bachelor at parties become so out of control? Like, the madness has to stop,” he says. “A friend was telling me the other day that she got asked to go on a bachelor party… in Paris. We live in New York!”

“You’re asking your friends to fly seven hours over an ocean to celebrate you? … You don’t ask your friends to spend their life savings to celebrate you in Paris. Now sure, if it’s like an all-expenses paid trip and you’re the one paying for it or your mom or your dad or whoever is paying for it, then fine, by all means. And this might get some hate, but I think you are selfish. I can even ask someone to spend money on a birthday dinner for me.”

The consensus in Goldie’s comments section agreed with this notion, affirming his theory that people are just delusional about the importance of their wedding as it compares to the guests invited.

One bride-to-be and serial traveler, Lex, doesn’t see the big issue with destination bachelorette parties, admitting she is having her own in Italy. She says if you do it right, a destination bachelorette can totally be done.

“I have controversy online that I’d love to throw a little gas on the fire. I’m getting married in 2024, and I’ve asked my bridesmaids to have my bachelorette in Italy,” she says.

“Before you come for me, let me explain: In November of 2022, I got engaged, and I immediately knew I was going to have a destination wedding. In January of 2023, we decided to have our wedding in Italy and asked our bridal party that early, knowing we wouldn’t be getting married until October 2024.”

She says by giving her wedding party members two years of advance warning, they all had plenty of time to book flights, save money, and take the proper time off to make it to her wedding and bachelorette.

“I outlined what I was expecting, and of course, there would be no hard feelings if somebody said no. Just because I love to travel doesn’t mean my friends do.”

“My bachelorette is also completely optional. I chose Italy because we’re already flying over there. You’re already spending money to get there. Why would I also throw in another $1,000 trip to Nashville?” she asked.

“All this to say I know traveling isn’t a priority for everyone, but this is my wedding and my fiancé’s wedding. If our friends communicated to us that they couldn’t make it for some reason, we get it and it’s not an end of a friendship, but I’m also not going to not have the destination wedding of my dreams because of someone else’s opinion.”

Despite her pretty rational reasoning and allotment of time for her friends, TikTok users were not buying what she was selling.

“The entitlement is incredible!!” one user wrote.

Another said, “It’s still wrong to ask people to use that much limited time on you. Be a kind friend, you aren’t.”

“That’s a lot to ask of your friends. I think it’s ridiculous how much we expect for our weddings these days!” one user wrote.

“We all live in 5 diff states so we usually travel anyways! Wedding prices yes agree to that lol,” the OP replied.

Despite the negativity, she did get some affirmation from people who thought the bride-to-be was actually making sense.

“Am I the only one that feels that this was reasonable and fair? She has no expectations and is understanding if people can’t make it,” one user said.

“Love that you’re doing the bach in the same destination! Honestly some US bach trips cost just as much as a full European vacay!” another wrote.

“It sounds like you’re really flexible and understanding if/when friends won’t be able to make it. I think the problem most people are talking about is when couples get mad that friends can’t come,” another reiterated.

Lex replied, “Yes! If they can’t make it we’d be sad, but not mad! We get they have different priorities. Originally we were just going to have parents & siblings but wanted to give our besties the option to come💛”