I’ll admit it — I don’t like farting in front of a partner, especially for the first time. When it happens, I’m usually awkward and petrified. Why? Because I’m one of those people conditioned to think that farting and going to the bathroom around my partner is “gross” and “unattractive,” and I would do anything to prevent it from happening.

Case in point: During a vacation with a boyfriend, I avoided pooping for the majority of the trip and, surprise, ended up super constipated. Writhing in pain, days later, I finally copped up to my plight. My boyfriend’s response? A shrug and an offer to buy me a stool softener. I was shocked… and relieved.

A survey from Mic that’s been making its rounds again on social media found that 29% of people wait between two to six months into a relationship to fart, which is also around the time when “I love yous” are exchanged. The same study suggests couples who are open enough to fart in front of each other may have stronger bonds and better emotional health as a couple.

According to relationship expert and podcast host Michael Sartain, these findings make perfect sense. “Farting around each other is a subconscious sign of comfort,” Sartain explains. “It shows that you’re at ease in the relationship and don’t feel the need to filter yourself.”

But what about those who aren’t comfortable with crossing this boundary? And does breaking wind actually impact romance — or is it just another quirky part of growing close? Sartain weighs in on why farting may (or may not) matter in your relationship and how it can bring you closer together.

The couple who farts together stays together?

Couples who laugh off these moments tend to have a dynamic rooted in humor and trust. “When you can joke about these little things, it’s a sign that you’re secure enough to be real with each other,” Sartain says. “You’re not holding back or putting on a facade. That kind of honesty is rare, and it’s a great foundation for a healthy partnership.”

Sartain believes that when you’re building a relationship with someone over time, “what you don’t want is for things like going to the bathroom in front of your partner or showing certain vulnerabilities to be difficult. When you’re on a first date with a girl, you’re not going to do it. But later on, you’re just sitting there, watching Netflix, maybe eating Chick-fil-A together, and then boom with the secret sauce, and you let one rip. It’s not that you don’t care about [your partner]. It’s that you’re in such a comfortable place, it doesn’t bother you as much. And so you do it.”

Does farting kill romance?

Absolutely not, according to Sartain. He believes this concern often comes from societal pressures, particularly for women. “Let’s be real — if a man is physically attracted to a woman, a little flatulence isn’t going to change that. It’s not a dealbreaker for most men,” Sartain explains. “If it is, the problem isn’t the fart; it’s the guy.”

If farting is the thing that’s going to ruin the romance, Sartain says there’s probably a deeper issue at play. “If you’re spending time together, sleeping in the same bed, and having regular sexual intimacy, then farting shouldn’t matter,” he says. “If it does, then the issue might be more about a lack of attraction.”

For Sartain, the true killer of romance is an inability to relax and enjoy each other’s company. “If you’re watching Netflix, eating takeout, and feeling comfortable enough to let one slip, that’s not a bad thing. It’s a sign that you’ve moved beyond surface-level concerns and into a more genuine connection.”

What if you’re not comfortable yet?

Sartain stresses that there’s no right or wrong way to approach this. “You can’t plan this stuff — it’s not like there’s a rulebook for when to fart in front of your partner,” he jokes. “It’ll happen naturally when you’re both ready.”

For those who feel uneasy about it, Sartain recommends focusing on building trust and humor in the relationship. “It’s about creating an environment where you can be yourself, quirks and all.”

For those who see farting as a sign of comfort, Sartain suggests it’s because it reflects a level of closeness that not all couples share. “It’s not really about the act itself — it’s what it symbolizes. It shows that you’re relaxed and unfiltered around your partner.”

“Think about it this way,” he adds. “Do you question the love you have for your baby because they poop in front of you? No. You just accept it as part of life. Farting in a relationship is the same thing. It’s natural and doesn’t diminish your connection unless you let it.”

Is it OK not to fart in front of your partner?

Sartain believes that whether or not you fart in front of your partner is ultimately a personal choice. “It’s not a big deal either way,” Sartain explains. “If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s fine. It doesn’t mean you’re not close or that your relationship is lacking intimacy.”

If farting isn’t your thing, Sartain points out that there are countless other ways to connect intimately. “Intimacy comes in so many forms: shared jokes, deep conversations, cuddling, or simply being vulnerable with your partner,” he says. “Farting isn’t the only marker of closeness.”

Your relationship goals should be comfort and acceptance

Sartain sees these “comfortable” moments between you and your partner as symbolic of something deeper. “This isn’t just about bodily functions; it’s about acceptance,” he says. “If you can accept each other at your most human, that’s real intimacy. And if farting is the thing that ruins the romance, you’ve got bigger issues to deal with.”

In the end, Sartain argues, whether you fart in front of your partner or not, the goal is the same: to create a relationship where both people feel safe, seen, and loved — no matter what happens after that Chick-fil-A dinner.